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Feb. 5, 2024

Revolutionize Your Relationships: Why Monthly 1-on-1 Time Might Just Save Your Family

Revolutionize Your Relationships: Why Monthly 1-on-1 Time Might Just Save Your Family

Pause for a moment and ask yourself, when was the last time you truly connected with those closest to you? Not just a quick chat over dinner or a passing hug on the way out the door, but a real, undistracted, heart-to-heart connection? 

This episode promises to be a game-changer for you and your loved ones. We're about to delve into a simple yet life-altering practice that could be the key to unlocking the deepest levels of harmony and happiness in your family life. This isn't just another feel-good theory; it's a practical, actionable approach that your host, Matt O’Neill, has implemented in his family life. Discover how monthly one-on-one time isn't just a nice idea, but a crucial lifeline for the thriving family you've always envisioned.

Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation: 

  • The importance of relationships and creating special moments

  • A system for monthly one-on-one dates and annual trips 

  • Ideas for one-on-one dates and trips

  • Overcoming challenges of time and money

  • Highlights from Matt's one-on-one experiences

[00:01] The Importance of Prioritizing Relationships

Matt cites research showing 50% of marriages end in divorce and 40% of children experience conflicts with parents. He shares an anecdote from the book "The Five Regrets of the Dying" where a nurse discussed patients' top regrets that  included working too much and not prioritizing relationships. Matt emphasizes that relationships, not career or money, will be most important when looking back on life.

[10:37] The Six Strategies for Strong Relationships

  1. Have a monthly one-on-one date with your spouse - These moments are important to stay intimate and keep the romance alive in your marriage.

  2. Have a monthly one-on-one date with one child - The focus is on really listening to one child, such as going to an event they enjoy.

  3. Take an annual one-on-one trip with your spouse - This takes you away from distractions to rediscover what drew you together.

  4. Take an annual one-on-one trip with one child. - Provide each child with the dedicated attention of an annual special trip centered around their interests and dreams. 

  5. Have quarterly one-on-one dates with parents. - Maintain strong bonds with aging parents through quality quarterly dates to share life experiences.

  6. Make time for important friends. - Say yes when friends invite you out to maintain vital community and avoid loneliness in later years.

[13:16] Creative Ideas for One-onOne Time with Your Loved Ones

Here are some creative date ideas Matt suggested for one-on-one time with your spouse and kids:

Spouse:

  • Cooking classes

  • Bowling

  • Concerts

  • Sporting events like basketball or football games

  • Hiking or outdoor activities

  • Trying a new hobby like pottery or painting classes

  • Volunteering for a cause you both care about

Kids: 

  • Outdoor activities like hiking, camping, fishing, surfing

  • Educational activities like museums, zoos, aquariums 

  • Experiential outings like rock climbing, trampoline parks, escape rooms

  • Attending a play, magic show, or other performance they enjoy

  • Cooking or art projects done together

  • Community/school sporting events

  • Day trips to a nearby city/town to explore

Notable quotes:

[08:10] Prioritizing these special moments with your children allows you to create more time with them before they're gone. [08:16]

[28: 29] Most of the time we regret on our deathbed that we let those friendships just kind of fizzle out because we didn't make the effort to stay in touch. [28:37] 

Resources Mentioned: 

The Top Five Regrets of the Dying by Bonnie Ware

The Power of Moments by Chip Heath and Dan Heath

18 Summers by Jim & Jamie Shiels

The Blue Zones by Dan Buettner

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