E69: The Stress Illusion with Allison Graham

The way we approach stress can make or break our day, and our life. You have to figure out the stress equation because, if left unchecked, stress can drain your capacity right out of you. 

In this episode stress expert Allison Graham teaches how stress is really an illusion. Many high achievers believe that the only way to achieve success is by living an intense, high-stress lifestyle. However, adopting a zen-like approach to managing stress can be just as effective without sacrificing intensity. Learn how to make friends with your stress and how to redefine the relationship you have with stress.

Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation: 

• Why stress is an illusion

• Allison’s journey with pain

• The correlation between stress and chronic pain

• The loop of destructive self-judgment

• What to do in the absence of emotion

• Situational awareness and self-awareness

[10:43] The Correlation Between Stress and Chronic Pain

As your stress level rises, your body and mind suffer, and your ability to make friends with your pain and prevent it from taking over your life weakens. To combat this, you have to figure out the stress equation because if left unchecked, it can drain and suck your capacity right out of you. Designing how you use your capacity each day is crucial to managing stress and chronic pain. By proactively designing how you use your capacity to manage stress, you can improve your ability to be resilient and manage chronic pain.

[12:33] Zen Approach: Managing Stress without Sacrificing Intensity

Many high achievers believe that the only way to achieve success is by living an intense, high-stress lifestyle. However, adopting a zen-like approach to managing stress can be just as effective without sacrificing intensity. There are people who live a kumbaya lifestyle and manage to stay at a nice, cool pace that works for them. Meanwhile, the rest of us must figure out how to reach our goals without letting stress take over. It's about shifting our perception of stress and realizing that we don't have to completely change who we are to be stress-free. We weren't designed to be lackadaisical human beings lying on the beach, so it's important to find a balance between intensity and mindfulness. By embracing a zen approach to stress management, we can still achieve our goals without sacrificing our mental health and wellbeing.

[15:41] The Loop of Destructive Self-Judgment

Do you find yourself judging yourself for being judgmental? This negative loop is just one layer of destructive stress and a barrier to achieving peak performance. It's important to remember that the things that define our lives are often beyond our control. The reality is that we can't just ignore our feelings and stuff them down. Instead, we need to break the loop of destructive self-judgment and embrace our emotions, even the negative ones, so we can move forward and achieve our goals without the weight of self-judgment holding us back.

Notable quotes:

[02:09] Stress – the way that we're taught to approach it, the way we're taught to solve it, to measure it, to live with it is–all of it combined – is the illusion. [02:20]

[10:43] There's a definite correlation between destructive stress and our level of chronic pain. 

Resources Mentioned: 

Take Back Your Weekends: Stress Less, Do More, Be Happier

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About the Guest 

Allison Graham is a keynote speaker and author who speaks about resilience and personal capacity design. She has published a book called The Stress Illusion, offering a fresh perspective on the destructive cycle that makes professionals feel like they are suffocating under stress.