Setting Boundaries with Dr. Miriam Zylberglait

If you’ve ever struggled to maintain boundaries in your personal and professional life, you’re not alone. Dr. Miriam Zylberglait, renowned expert on the topic of boundaries and self care urges you to understand that boundaries are not for others, but rather for your own protection. 

In this episode, she shares insights from her book, The 3G Cycle of Life, and offers practical tips for setting boundaries. Miriam also provides an exercise to help identify if your personal and professional lives are in alignment. 

By prioritizing your self-care and learning to say no, you can transform your life and achieve greater satisfaction and fulfillment.

Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation: 

• The importance of boundaries

• Putting yourself first so you can help other people

• Why you need to set boundaries

• Learning to say no

• Focusing on values and purpose

• The power of saying yes

[08:19] Putting Yourself First to Help Others

It's true, self-care and setting boundaries are essential for serving others. Have you ever taken a moment to really look at yourself in the mirror and feel completely content with what you're doing? It's a beautiful feeling, but it can be challenging to maintain. Sometimes, it's easy to lose sight of yourself and start blending into life, taking on the colors of those around you like a chameleon. But, amidst all of this, it's crucial to still have boundaries. You need to define what is and isn't acceptable for your own well-being, to ensure that you aren't compromising yourself for the sake of others. Remember, prioritizing your own care is not selfish, but rather, it's a way to serve others from a place of strength and stability.

[14:37] Setting Boundaries

It's important to understand that boundaries are not for others but for your own protection. Don't think that they are related to satisfying or helping others, but instead, consider them as a way to take care of yourself. You need to make it clear to yourself that this is your way of protecting yourself and keep this mindset embedded in your brain and heart. This is indeed the first step towards self-care and transformation. Learn to be okay with saying no. Some people's feelings could get hurt, especially when you've always said yes. When you say yes to something, then you say no to everything else.

[22:55] Focusing on Your Values and Purpose

If you want to align your actions with your purpose and values, it may require some sacrifices in your schedule. You might have to think about what you need to cut out in the coming week and make some adjustments accordingly. Perhaps you can reduce the time spent on watching TV or doing something less important. But there may be something special or significant that you cannot miss, and should prioritize. Use that as your barometer to gauge the importance of various commitments and make decisions accordingly. 

Notable quotes:

[11:37] Think about the last time that you recognized yourself in front of the mirror, and you are doing what you want. [11:43]

[14:09] When we fail to set boundaries, we just live for others, and not for ourselves. [14:21] 

[14:37] You need to understand that boundaries are not for others….The only reason why you set the boundaries is to protect yourself. [14:52]

Resources Mentioned: 

The 3G Cycle of Life

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About the Guest 

Dr. Miriam Zylberglait is a triple Board Certified Physician in Internal Medicine, Geriatrics, and Obesity Medicine with extensive clinical and academic experience. Dr. Z is interested in the areas of well-being, burnout, mental health, and leadership development.